spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
