I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
