Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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