Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
