how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
