It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize