ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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