WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She's the barista slut.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize