oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
