remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
