Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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