Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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