I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This is my gift to your gina
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
