I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize