im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
