yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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