I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
