Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
