Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
