she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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