Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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