Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
