I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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