I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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