all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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