My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
