i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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