But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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