He is an equal opportunity slut.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
