She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize