census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
