Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
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