I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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