It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
