I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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