Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize