I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
