i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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