Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
