What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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