Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
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I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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