It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I will be naked everywhere
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
