dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
