I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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