can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
