Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
