We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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