tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Im part way to drunk.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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