another moral hangover. fuck.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
