Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
