So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
