Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
