He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
