my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
