True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
They are going to name an STD after you.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
