he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize