i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
